Goals I wrote down & set when I was in 9th grade

- Have a college degree by 24...check
-Live on my own by 19...check
-Move to a warmer climate...
-Follow my passion in modeling...check
-Be engaged by 23...
-Be married by 25...
-Have my first child by 28...
-Write daily...check
-Have a dog...check
-Be happy...check


I get frustrated most days knowing that short term dreams I wrote down aren't filled, but I know it will happen when its ready. I've been ready for 4 years now & I honestly don't think he'll ever be ready. If its not one thing its another, excuse after excuse. I tears me up inside because I feel like i'm wasting my time when I could be out there finding a man who does want to marry me & not keep luring me on. & I'm not trying to say I'd marry anyone, I know he's the one. I've known that from the first moment i met him. I just don't always feel like I'm his one. Like he's just waiting on something better to come around & we probably will never get married & by that time I'll be an older, less attractive & extremely bitter. I'm already starting to get bitter & angry with life. I see all of my friends getting engaged & married & they haven't even been with their partners half as long as we've been together. I use to be such a happy, fun loving, easy person. Now, just thinking about how were not moving forward in our relationship depresses me. I don't feel like doing anything anymore. I've never felt so sad. & he tells me that its not him its me & I'm sad & depressed because I'm not following what I want. Well obviously dumb ass! I do all the things i want to for myself to make me happy, but the other things I want are out of my control & makes me unhappy. & he just doesn't want to take credit for his lack of communication & love. So i bite my tongue again.

I just want to scream!
Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

John Steinbeck quotes can be inspiring

John Steinbeck wrote, “Change comes like a little wind that ruffles the curtains at dawn, & it comes like a stealthy perfume of wildflowers hidden in the grass.”

Your silence speaks louder than your hurtful words.

Your actions show your true feelings; sucker of beauty.

Who knows where these roads will take us, we’ve been twisting & winding for so long.

Can we straighten up & find an even pace?

Change, it happens the minute I turn away.

Change, change, change is a revolution everyday.

Let this darkness disappear in the wind.

Stranded on this path waiting for you.

Cinderella in her party dress,

Waiting on her prince with,

Something barrowed,

Something blue

Oh, where are you?

A wick, no wax

Unattended flame burning destruction

Lets not let this flame go out

I don’t want you to be my hero,

Just my prince in shinning armor

I cant be your heroine,

Don’t drowned in your lonely frustrations

Should-a

Could-a

Might-a

It’s you,

When all my dreams come true

It’s you,

I want next to me

My heart has reason that reason doesn’t know

Love, love, love

Your love is all I need